Reader’s letters with Kanye West

0 Posted by - 30/07/2015 - Creative Writing, Featured

Curated by Richard Ferguson (@RichAFerguson) | Art by Anna Zobel

We’re very excited to welcome our very first celebrity Agony Aunt, Kanye “Yeezus” West! He’s a legendary rapper, singer, songwriter and prophet with the ego to boot. He’s given some RMIT students wisdom that could only ever come from the mouth of ‘Ye.

*These are legitimate quotes from Kanye West.

Hi Kanye, I have this really great job opportunity in London after my honours. But there’s a girl in Melbourne and I don’t know if I can leave her? What should I choose? Billy, 24

I don’t know what’s better, gettin’ paid or gettin’ laid.

Hey Kanye, I’m a fashion student who’s just so inspired by your work with Marc Jacobs. What was working with him like? Chelsea, 19

I thank Marc Jacobs so much for giving me the opportunity to design a shoe for Louis Vitton, but the thing that broke my heart the most was when they said, “You’re finished. The shoe’s finished.”

Hi ‘Ye, I’m a member of the Socialist Alternative and we’re holding a rally against Israeli American apartheid and Tony Abbott. Wanna come? Sam, 28

I liberate minds with my music. That’s more important than a few people liberated from apartheid or whatever.

Hello Kanye, what other geniuses inspire you? Who do you look to base yourself on? Cory, 18

I think I do myself a great disservice by comparing myself to Steve Jobs or Walt Disney and human beings we’ve seen before. It should be more like Willy Wonka…and this is my chocolate factory.

Dear Yeezus, I’m a man of God like you. How do we keep people in the faith? George, 64

I’m just trying to say the way schools need teachers, the way Kathie Lee needed Regis, that’s the way y’all need Jesus.

Hiya Kanye, How do you like to listen to your rap? I listen to it during a good run round the park. Susie, 56

I don’t even listen to rap. My apartment’s too nice to listen to rap in.

Hey ‘Ye, I’m currently working on my second EP. Any advice? Jimmy, 21

I didn’t want to play it boring and safe. Also I didn’t want to innovate too much. Second albums, man, they’re even scarier than first ones.

Hi Kanye, I’m trying to get my students into reading more classic literature. How can I get them into the groove? Abegail, 36

I’m a proud non-reader of books.

Hey Yeezus, I really appreciate your openness. It must be hard putting yourself out there? Dee, 17

We’re all self-conscious. I’m just the first to admit it.

Hi Kanye, where’s the worst place you’ve ever gone on holiday? Ken, 23

In Paris, you’re as far as possible from the land of pleasant smiles.

Hey ‘Ye, I’m currently dating three boys but I don’t want to stop sex with any of them. What do I do? Aidan, 22

People always say that you can’t please everybody. I think that’s a cop-out. Why not attempt it? ‘Cause think of all the people you will try to please if you try.

Hi Kanye, what are the little things in life you most appreciate? Karen, 48

I really appreciate the moments that I was able to win rap album of the year or whatever.

Dear Kanye, are you ever going to apologise to me? I am now much more popular than you. Taylor, 25

Taylor, I’m really happy for you, I’mma let you finish but Beyonce….

Hi Yeezus, I’m currently having a really hard time with assignments and home stuff. Any words of wisdom to pick me up? Sasha, 22

Keep your nose to the sky, keep your heart to God, and keep your face to the rising sun.

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