Welcome to Catalyst’s guide to RMIT Student Union elections. Over the next few days, we’ll be sharing the what, the who, the why, the where, the how, the umm huh of election season at RMIT. Keep tuned as we unveil the best darn guide to student democracy in action you’re ever likely to read.
The secret to RUSU elections is knowing where – or where not – to be. If you’re to survive election season, you need to know all the campus hotspots. Catalyst will show where to go to vote and, when you’ve voted, how to avoid these areas. We’ll also point out the individual quirks of each hotspot so you know how to react when the hacks attack.
THE SNAKE PIT
What would normally be your entrance into RMIT’s hallowed halls is now enemy #1. Located next to the elevators in Building 8, it’s affectionately called ‘the snake pit’ because we’re keen on honesty here and it’s fucking awful. Swarming with what I can only assume are campaign robots programmed to see weakness, it’s the most direct way to get to the voting booths located outside the former RUSU offices. The ideal strategy: wear a plain t-shirt in red, green or blue to camouflage yourself, then run. Fast.
The ramp heads steadily downwards towards the voting booths in Building 8, which is kind of a metaphor for your descent into madness this week. A true gauntlet, the ramp’s main purpose is to weed out the weak from the strong. Only the most determined voters will have the willpower to stride past the brightly coloured shirts shouting about sausage sizzles/small business/Palestine to make their vote count. The ideal strategy: go early or late in the day, walk with purpose, get in and get out, never return to the wasteland again.
Building 80 is the other option to selling your soul for a chance into the Building 8 polling booths. Located on level 3, it’s an ideal alternative for the trendy City dwellers. Ultimately, everyone must ask themselves, ‘do I want to vote in a godless cesspool of debauchery or do I want to vote in a futuristic shrine dedicated to the Transformers series?’ The answer is easy. The ideal strategy: Put on your best gym gear, strap on your Nikes and vote like it’s 2059!
Next to the level 4 cafeteria in Building 57, our engineering mates can have their voices heard. It’s also conveniently located right next to the illustrious Catalyst office, where I am currently shackled to a desk until I finish this. The ideal strategy: Vote and then drop into our office to see our highly-trained copyediting monkeys hard at work! Bring bananas. It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times!
Over in Building 13, the geniuses who have HECS debt up to their ears can also vote. However, your only time slot is three and a half hours on Tuesday 8th September. I’m not saying RMIT doesn’t care about you, but I may be implying it. The ideal strategy: fill out your ballot slip while contemplating how burned out you are, and how pointless higher education is in the grand scheme of things.
BRUNSWICK AND BUNDOORA
As a bunch of inner city hermits, we’ve never actually been to the Brunswick or Bundoora campuses, but management has assured us they exist. For Brunswick, all your voting needs will be housed in the foyer of Building 514. Bundoora has twice the fun, with polling stations in the lounge at Building 253 for Bundoora East and in the foyer of Building 202 at Bundoora West. The ideal strategy: Search ‘Bundoora’ in Google Maps, then get some democratic process in ya.