Art - Romy Durrant

A few things Maurice Newman loves and hates

by Guest Contributor

Chairman of the Prime Minister’s Business Advisory Council Maurice Newman spoke to Catalyst shortly after he proved climate change was a hoax and the UN was looking to take over the world. Here are some things he loves and hates.

HATE – The warmists. Science schmience. Let’s please address mankind’s greatest threat: packs of Masonic lizards who control two thirds of the body politics across the globe. And then let’s address the serious issue of global cooling.

HATE – The United Nations New World Order. The Blue Helmets are coming, with their Green-left ideology and military prowess (helmed by the Masonic Lizards).

LOVE – Tony Abbott. A great leader with only one flaw: show us your birth certificate Tony. Are you an Australian citizen if you were born in England?

HATE – That the world is made of Spiders. Lefty scientists will try to convince you otherwise but the upper crust of this planet is in fact made of spiders. I hate the powerful pro-Spider lobby led by elements tied with the Masonic warmist lizards who are constantly blocking my research into this. Spider entities are constantly absorbing dividends from solar rebate capital, hence their desire to see the Green-idealogues prosper.

HATE – Obama and his plans to take Jade Helm, Texas. Despite promises to the contrary, the planned ‘training exercise’ in Jade Helm is in fact a hostile takeover of the Republic of Texas. Arm yourselves Texans, the Blue Helmets are coming.

LOVE – Coal. I used to hang garlic around my neck before I went to sleep and now I realise coal is the most effective deterrent from the Masonic spider lizards who move the furniture in my house while I sleep.

HATE – Christiana Figueres. I have no direct proof she is one of the Tim Flannery Masonic spider lizards but I know she is in their pay pocket. She will be leading the march against Texas and Sydney on her Hell-horse made of carbon tax rebate slips.

HATE – Chemtrails. Anyone notice how they’re only spraying over latte-centric, inner-city suburbs? I blame the Blue Helmets. They have also implanted nano machines in every third packet of Bonsoy.

Art by Romy Durrant

Catalyst has been the student publication of RMIT University since 1944. We may be older than your parents but we’re still going strong!

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