When taking your love life to the next level, understanding yourself is the most important factor.
Disclaimer: BDSM is a consensual activity respecting the fundamental rights of every human being involved; this separates it from sexual abuse. In this article, topics around Dominance, Submission and Restraints will be discussed. However, this is in no way a critique of vanilla or regular sexual intercourse. The most important defining feature of BDSM is consent, safe words and respect.
BDSM is a range of sexual activities that relate to control and dynamics. According to Ali Hebert and Angela Weaver, professors in the department of psychology at St. Francis Xavier University, BDSM can be a safe, consensual avenue for exploring the kinks that make up your unique sexual fingerprint. Created in 2014, the BDSM test is a broad questionnaire that leads to a percentage of compatibility to 25 types of BDSM.
Prior to taking the test, you’ll be prompted to answer general questions about your age, gender, and sexual orientation. You’ll have the option to select shorter or longer versions of the test, depending on your interest in BDSM. You’ll also be offered a way to filter out some questions that are aimed at either submissive and masochists or dominants and sadists, if you already know that’s not your thing.
Sexologists say that BDSM is more about communication with yourself and your partner than it is about a Red Room of Pain (As Fifty Shades of Grey may appear). And to get that conversation started, there’s an online BDSM test that can help you safely learn your tastes.
What are the main archetypes of BDSM?
To make it simple, the archetypes are:
- BD: Bondage & Discipline (playing with physical restraints)
- DS: Dominance & Submission (playing with power exchange and service)
- SM: Sadism & Masochism (playing with pain and shock)
Dominant
Dominants like to be in charge. Some like to have their partner obey them without questioning, others like some resistance while taking it their way. Some are dominant only in the bedroom, others are dominant throughout their daily life as well. Unlike the top roles, being dominant is more about who decides what happens (and takes the responsibility that comes with it) than about the contents of what happens.
Submissive
Submissive individuals like to follow. Some like to give the control away to their partner(s), some like to have it forcibly taken from them. Unlike the bottom roles, being submissive is more about who decides what happens (and takes the responsibility that comes with it) than about the contents of what happens.
Rigger/Rope Bunny
Riggers like to tie up and restrain their partner(s), using rope and/or other attributes (chains, cuffs, spreader bars, etc.)
Rope bunny likes to be tied up and restrained, using rope and/or other attributes (chains, cuffs, spreader bars, etc.).
Other of the 25 archetypes, that promote more taboo ideas of BDSM and role-play can be viewed here: https://www.bdsmtest.org/info
What should you expect?
When I first opened the website, the first thing was to be as open and honest with the quiz in order to begin your journey to understand yourself. The website is free, and asks you to answer to whether you agree or disagree with statements. You definitely can’t know where you’re going [sexually] if you don’t have a place to start. The test is more validating than judgemental, with the questions (and results), leaning towards giving you information about yourself, than to sell an idea. The text defines that sexuality is complex, and not a boxed in label for you to define yourself is. The responses illicit curiosity, and not final answers.
A regular person’s experience (i.e. me)
I personally found that the responses to my answers gave me enough knowledge to begin to understand myself beyond the realms of modern sexual education. Feeling, sensuality and experience are far more important concepts than heterosexual-biases and this test affirms that. The test is a launching point, and should be only viewed as that. To me, this test is a kinky version of the MBTI test or a horoscope and not meant to be taken entirely literally. One day I’ll have to bravery to ask my friends to take the test on a fun night, where we can laugh at our results together over a couple of drinks. Until then, the conversation is already open and the internet is more than sex positive than ever before. Conversation about sexual positivity, reaffirms consent, self-love and self-esteem. That is what we should care about the most.
Although remember, the test is just for fun. Don’t get hung up on your results if they aren’t indicative of how you feel about your sex life in real life. Because at the end of the day, there is never anything wrong with vanilla.
Visit www.bdsmtest.org for more information, and to possibly learn more about yourself in the process.
Article submitted anonymously
Image courtesy of Ashley Armitage